50 Ways to Annoy Mello
by The Amazing Wonder Ninja
Summary: yes, i had to. i hope you have as much fun reading this as i had writing it! the title is self explainitory. read and review!


50 ways to annoy Mello!*

-sneak into his room while he's in the shower, and when he gets out, gasp loudly and point to his groin yelling "Good God, I didn't know they even came that small!" loud enough for all his thugs to hear.

-hide all his chocolate.

-put instant hair curler in his shampoo.

-bleach his hair and cut it into random lengths in his sleep, then run. Blame one of the mafia.

-buy him a little black dress, and tell him every girl ought to have one. Make sure it has lace and/or frills.

-every time he says something like "I'll be number one!" yell "in accordance with the prophecy!"

-if he says "I'll beat Near!" say "In bed."

-buy him white pyjamas and a set of legos.

-set up surveillance cameras in obvious places in his room, and blame Matt. Then catch him off guard by randomly saying "I know what you did last night." In a low voice.

-decorate a regular black notebook to look just like a death note; mail it to him "from Kira" and watch when he freaks out, and laugh when it doesn't work.

-buy a megaphone and wake him up at 2 am by yelling "Police! Open up!" outside his window.

-buy sex toys online and have them mailed to the SPK headquarters "From Mello". Laugh as he tries to explain to Near why he sent him a bunch of sex toys.

-buy sex toys for him online and mail them to the mafia headquarters so he has to explain to his thugs why he has five dildos (among other things…)

-every time he walks into a room, sing "Jump" by Madonna.

-buy him a windbreaker, and embroider "Near's favorite wannabe" onto the back.

-wail incessantly when he doesn't wear it until one of his thugs forces him to, just so you'll shut up.

-buy him a chia-pet shaped like L's head.

-replace all his leather with pleather.

-say you wrecked his hummer, and buy him a flamingo pink lowrider to replace it. Fill the glove box and trunk with skittles; say they were the free gift with purchase.

-do a crude impersonation of him every time he leaves athe room, complete with hair flipping, the hand drop, an exaggerated inferiority complex, and slutty behavior: "And I was like, ohmigod, right? The little asshole beat me again! can you believe that? Well, if I cant beat him to kira, I can beat him at something, right? I bet I've had waaay more boyfriends than he'll ever have, right Kal?" [blinks sexily at kal] when he returns, pretend like nothing happened.

-compare him and near to kyo and yuki sohma from Fruits Basket. Throw a Mello fanboy at him, and wonder why he didn't turn into a cat.

-cut a small hole in his coat, small enough to go unnoticed, but large enough to let feathers out, and laugh at the trail of feathers he leaves behind every time he rides his motorcycle.

-but orange juice in a non-translucent cup, and tell him it's something chocolatey. Laugh when he spews it across the room.

- put a spider in his pants, and laugh as he attempts to peel off his pants to get awayfrom the spider. Hope he doesn't accidentally shoot off his balls in the process.

-"borrow" his ipod; add all sorts of techno-pop to his playlist- namely "Barbie girl", the caramelldansen, "butterfly", "best friends", the sailor song, etc. Dont forget to add scotty vanity!

-pick up all his scattered chocolate wrappers; pelt them at him, yelling something about littering and global warming. Accuse him of being a "litterbug"

-ask him why he has no eyebrows.

-force him to eat an entire plate of vegetables.

-give him laxatives, and tell him you called his doctor, and the doctor says he's pregnant. Explain to him as gently as possible that he cant eat chocolate for nine months.

- tell him he's a diabetic.

-scream something about tree people, and bury yourself in his arms, sobbing.

- tell him, whenever he's upset, to think "WWND?"

-tell every one it's his birthday, and decorate the whole place in rainbows to celebrate.

-give him a mud pie, tell him it's chocolate.

- Leave a piece of chocolate and a secret admirer note on a random thug's pillow. Of course, they'll blame Mello; he's the chocoholic.

-Replace his leather cleaner with bleach, and listen to him scream.

-Buy him a puppy. Un-house trained, but too adorable to kick.

-Insist he goes trick or treating with you. Get him a French maid costume and force him to wear it. Make sure he brings the puppy.

- Keep a tally of how many times he gets hit on.

- Laugh your ass off if anyone says he has "a nice rack"

- Sign him up for the playboy daily email without his knowledge.

- Sign him up for the playGIRL daily email and when he checks his mail, jump out

yelling, "Look every one! Mello has gay porn!"

-Ask him if he's related to willy wonka on his mom's side or his dad's.

- Take him shopping, pretend you don't know him, and jump out from behind a large object yelling: "Oh my god! It's Madonna!" and ask for his autograph.

- rig the horn of his car so the next time he gets road rage, the "I feel pretty" song blares loud enough to be heard two blocks away.

-Set the sound effects on his computer to play "Guy Love" every time he clicks.

-Drag him to a Jonas brothers or Hannah Montana concert.

- Give him a puppy purse and insist he carry his puppy every where he goes.

*bonus!* - Ask if he knows that gullible isn't in the dictionary. Laugh when he runs to find out.

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_I had so much fun with this. Ahaha…^_^ he's so much fun to mess with. ruffles Mello's hair *BANG* now, now Mello, put the gun away…(sweatdrops). to understand the madonna referances, go to youtube and watch the video jump by her. mello much? i'm working on ways to annoy L...er, failing miserably, but trying anyway. _

_*don't blame me for any injuries sustained in attempting any of this. I'm just the writer! Matt might help you though. You can sue him. if either of you survive to tell the tale...^_^_


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